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Getting back to normality……

Once you have allowed yourself the time to really overcome the emotions of a breakup the next stage is to fill the huge vacuous whole the ex-partner has left in your life….that is, to get back to normality and the rediscovery of you as an individual, as well as the wiser, more self-aware contributor to a new partnership going forward.

How can you establish that in fact you are able to do this?

Do not be afraid of checking in with yourself…. You can do this using self-help books, creating a journal, counselling etc. Also, tap into that all intrusive Asian network we have at our disposal – speak to friends and family whom you trust to give you an honest opinion and advice based on their observations of you as to whether you are ready or not.

What could normally look like:

  • Get that social life back up and running – put yourself out there and this does not necessarily mean going clubbing or to bars – as this is not for everyone. Meet up with old friends that you have lost touch with, reconnect with family and work colleagues. Go for dinners
  • Join clubs where your interest sits – start to explore yourself and the betterment of yourself
  • Focus on your career – where do you want to be in 5 years’ time? Set yourself a plan and a goal – how will you get there? What training do you need? How can you take your business to the next level?
  • Connect with your faith – not everyone will need or want this – but it is a good way to recalibrate and rediscover the root of who you are

All of these are to help you fill the vacuum of being single in a healthy, pragmatic, fulfilling way.

At this point in post break up mayhem it is easy to think you are ready to start looking for The One…. there is a temptation to fill the void with another relationship which can be helpful but at the same time not entirely healthy in terms of the rediscovery or rebranding of yourself such that you bring the best possible you to the new relationship.

Take as long as you need.

Look out for the next instalment of this series…. Next steps.

For more information about our services contact us on info@consulttheone.co.uk where one of our consultants would be more than happy to talk you through anything specific that concerns you.